Session 2 - Affairs of the Heart

Okay then, are we ready to go? Are you ready? I am. I’m feeling pretty good today, thank you, I have- you know, I’d prefer if we let the past go, thank you; it was a troubled time, and my doctor has been very kind, very kind. Helping me out you see. “Too much energy” he says.

We have made up, and I don’t want him to think that I am ungrateful for all of his hard work; and all those little walks with my probation officer have set me on a good path- well no, I was being wheeled actually, and- yes, I was given a mask to wear, but that was “to keep me safe” mister thinks-he-is-so-smart. That felt good though, the finger thing, it feels great to get my arms about of those long coats, you know, the ones with the straps? Those ones. Yes, I do believe that there is a good thing going on, you know a, a… Synergy? Synergy, with my doctor now, and I feel… good.

I have a hobby. As I have been well behaved this last week and I had not been needed to be ‘relaxed’ for four whole days, a new record, I might add, and-

You know what, can I ask a question? How was that mask keeping me safe? I could barely move my head and- oh. But I haven’t bitten anyone, that’s hardly fair. I did? When? Oh, heh, that wasn’t me you see. Well, not me me, but you get where I’m coming from; ask that kind lady with the clip-board, who is she? What? Behavioural Psychologist? That’s a funny name.

I build things. There is a big room here and I make things with the stuff I find when I’m on day release. Like cloth, or little stones, or bits of like, this coppery stuff that comes out of the ground. Oh, that is copper? Heh, silly me, eh? And when I’m out I-

What do I make? Oh, lots of things. Lots. Too many to mention. You wouldn’t understand. No, really you wouldn’t. Technical, you see? I wouldn’t want to bore you.

My teeth hurt. I don't think this is a good time. Not a good time. I know about the path, you told me, remember? It's dark down there, and I'm not going. I'm not! No, you're being defensive-

Ah, ah, no wait, yes I see- I see it, yes I remember last time. Okay I make like, things… I am so not avoiding the question. So not. Talk about double standards, here I am trying to have a decent conversation and here you are waving that remote- ow!

Okay, okay. I didn’t know you could be relaxed for like, a second. Fine. That's fine, because it's okay.

I make things. Today I made some little copper screws, you see, and one of the orderlies actually came within reaching distance of me and I didn’t do anything. “Progress” they said, said it was “healthy”, and I’m proud of this. No, you see, they let me out of the long coats when I am in there; you see, there aren’t any windows in there that would make me tempted to, what was it? Oh yeah, “Try Anything Stupid”. Not that I have. It’s not my fault that some kid was making faces at me- that was not just his normal face! I saw him! So rude. Well maybe they should teach manners in playschool. He has another, why is everyone so hung up on this? I- no, you’re right. The path, yes, I get it. I’m not being angry. I’m not, I’m fine. Just fine, yes. Thank you.

Anyway, I was making these, these little copper globes, right, and the interesting thing- the interesting thing, right, is that they have a little bit of string at the end so hey wait! Wait no don’t go and get them, they are safe! Perfectly, almost safe, they are- Who taught me? I won’t say, because I love her. And she loves me. She is beautiful, her face hair an onyx zephyr. Thank you, it was quite poetic wasn’t it. Maybe that’s my calling. See, when I was down at the engineering trainer, she was wowed by my- No! No! You tricked me! She’ll never forgive me and she’ll leave! I can’t bear it!

I'm not crying! It's just, just something in my eye!

How could you?

How could could could you?

Purveyor of lies, sewer of heartbreak- Let go! Let go of me-

<The subject was relaxed at this point and the session terminated>

Session 1 - The Past

So what, I just talk and you write it down? Okay, right, I got you. So you just write everything down that I say. Fine. So I guess we're starting then.

We've already started? I don't want to see the start bit. Or this. Or this. Stop it. Stop- okay, I'm okay. I'm calm. No, I'm, fine. Really, thank you.

Okay, so my, uh, probation officer and my doctor said it would be a good idea to talk about myself and my day to day activities as this will, okay, I'll just raise my first two fingers on each hand when I want you do this in future, “help with my anger issues”, so yeah, okay, whatever I guess.

Right, well, my name is Figgitayimeat- no, no. It's not spelt like that, look, it's spelt like, well you should find out these things beforehand. My name is F-i-g-a-t-i-a-m-e-t. Got it? Great. Figatiamet, though the people that share my group-therapy sessions have taken to calling me 'Fidget' which I didn't like at first because I thought they were making fun of me, and after I cut the-

What? Oh no, I'm staying away from the path. I know it's dark down the path, yes I know. Okay I won't talk about that. Shall I talk about what happened before? I feel as if I should. Okay.

I was bitten by a Worgen oh, must have been about seven weeks ago now. Uh, I was in the cellar of a bar in Gilneas and bam. Wow. So I guess I'm one too now, and I kind of look like if my old dog went to the exercise yard and just got ripped. I mean look at these things! I know, aren't they? Though I feel kind of sad at the whole “people screaming and running away” and- wait, no, I only had one finger up that time. I know it's confusing but grammatically that is way off. Way off. It looks like someone's said something and then- you know what? Never mind. Just remember for next time. Okay. No, I forgive you, it's fine. It's fine.

My teeth hurt. Can I do this some other time? I do not just use that excuse when I get stressed! Oh, well look at you with your white coat and your orderlies-

Right, the path. Yes, no path here. I can't even see a path. Hah hah! Hah.

Anyway, so I'm bitten and all hunched and fluffy now and I'm getting all weirded out, so- is weirded a word? No? Freaked? Yeah, that'll work. Freaked. Just replace weirded with it from now on. So long story short, a few people got cut and now I'm here. “There are other people like me outside” they said and I felt pretty good about that. I mean, it would be, heh, pretty rubbish if there was no lady worgen out there, am I right? Come on, am I right? Fine.

I am now in Darnassus, and everything is purple, or green, including the people! Is that racist? I don't want to seem crass. Okay, I'm sorry. Yes, there's a building here for people that are “challenging” and need “help getting back into society” and that's great, I mean, they have beds here, and a nurse comes sometimes with these little white things that you don't chew and make you feel all soft, but lately they have stopped coming after one of them moved too fast around me. “I have a lot of pent up agression” they told me- no, see, you spelt that wrong. Yeah, it has two gee's. No problem. So my probation officer said that it would be a good idea for me to do 'day release' to work off my excess tension and I've found work freelancing as an adventurer.

My doctor said no at first because of, like, contact with sharp objects, but my probation officer said something about “channelling his murderous energies” or something, I don't know, because I wasn't allowed out of my cell but it got pretty heated and they started shouting and my doctor looked like he was menaced with a chair and- what? Confidential? Oh, I shouldn't tell anyone? But he was all like “backtalk me will you-

Okay! Okay, fine. Yes, I see what you're holding. But you wouldn't. Nah, see, I know you, right? You wouldn't. I mean, would you? No, I mean, see, I- right. Right. Oh uh, to avoid confusion, I am wearing a, I'm wearing a collar that helps me “relax” that is controlled by my doctor. I have been very relaxed recently, and I don't want to be relaxed again. No, I'm fine, no need for relaxation here. Really, see? See my smile? I'm smiling. Yes, that is a smile. But anyway.

They let me keep my top hat. That was nice of them. It's black, only like, not quite. It's shiny, but not like metal, you know, like uh, like shiny fabric? I'm not sure. What is this thing made out of? Silk. And “Hatter's Plush” apparently. Thank you writing-things-down-person. My doctor says I'm getting distracted.

Okay, so uh, my first day 'out'- yes, that's it, just the one finger that time. Thank you for listening to me. I, Fidget -damn, I'm saying it too now- Figatiamet, appreciate your mutual respect, and I would like to offer you a firm handshake. What? No contact? Why? Not after the- oooooh. Yes, I- yes, I remember. But the first part of it was- yeah, I know, healthy. My doctor said that was healthy; write that down. My first day was good, a Night Elf lady told me to rescue some people, who were dead on a beach. Or not dead, but nearly. I went to the bridge to the beach, and another Night Elf lady told me to kill some things- let me finish, it was all legally sanctioned and you can check with your boss. No they weren't actually, these things were like little whirlpools with arms and eyes. They were quite cute actually, and- did it stop me? No. I was getting paid three silver for killing nine of them- yes, I know that will be going into the “victim support fund”. Heh, and they say you can't put a price on life. No, that was a joke. Inappropriate? Oh, yeah I guess it was. I'm sorry.

I have a pickaxe, and I kill things with it. Someone gave it to me for fetching some miners from a mine. They could have put some thought into it, but there you are, that's gratitude for you. I mean, you go in there and agh!

Oh, that's the bed time buzzer. But I'm not finished yet doctor. No, I'd like to carry on, I think it could be inter- NO? But I feel great so great in fact I think I can carry on forever maybe! Maybe you'd like a hug-

<The subject was relaxed at this point and the session terminated>